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{{Fauna_Species|
{{Fauna_Species|
|name=Furniture
|name=Furniture
|ref=furnitureheadshot.jpb
|ref=furnituresmall.png
|fullref=furnitureref.jpg
|fullref=Furnitureref.jpg
|refcaption=Furniture
|refcaption=Furniture
|arcanogram=furniturespeciesarcanogra.png
|arcanogram=furniturespeciesarcanogra.png
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|weight=Varies
|weight=Varies
|size=Varies
|size=Varies
|type=Other
|type=Abomination
|myth=When one's life becomes too routine
|myth=When one's life becomes too routine
|notable=---
|notable=---


|summary=Furniture, too, is alive in Nodd.  
|summary=Furniture in Nodd is living, much like Noddish buildings. Furniture is found in a variety of useful shapes, from couches and ottomans to baths and countertops. Noddish furnishings are expected, given their living nature, to occasionally shuffle a small amount. However, furniture which moves on it's own too much is said to be "[[Ambulance|ambulant]]" and certain steps are taken to prevent this. Furnishings which have died are considered unappealing by many.
|physiology=The appearance of furniture can vary as much as one would expect of furniture.  
|habitat= Furniture generally spawns from and around architecture, to furnish its interior when the building reaches maturity. Stray ambulant furniture may be seen throughout the City and occasionally beyond, but less often than it's found near or within its parent building.
|reproduction=Furniture occasionally sports visible genitalia. While furniture spawns along with its building, ambulant furniture can also produce offspring in a more biological fashion.
|behavior=Well-behaved furniture is expected to remain mostly in one spot and perform the task they are intended to perform. Some minor misbehavior is to be expected, however it is not unheard of for particularly unruly furniture to misbehave drastically, such as attempting to hump it's owner. Ambulant furniture pieces are often castrated in an attempt to solve behavioral issues without resorting to euthanasia, and consistently misbehaving furniture is often disposed of.
|diet=Furniture is often nourished by the buildings they reside in, so long as the building accepts it and the building itself is maintained. Failing that, furniture must be fed by an outside source to survive - most often seen in abandoned buildings or cases where the building itself dislikes a given furniture piece. Ambulant furniture in particular is often required to be fed by the owner.
|use=Furniture's most obvious use should be readily apparent. However, it is not the only use for furniture. Furnishings are also [[Couch Meat|edible]], made into a selection of dishes when deemed unfit for their primary use. The cushioned parts of certain furniture tends to be referred to as "couch steak", while the harder parts like legs are often called "couch shrimp" - named for the way one must crack open the chitinous exterior to get at the meat within. Less desired are "[[Couch Potato|couch potatoes]]", which refer to the deep-fried testicles of furniture - it is widely regarded as a low quality meal.


“Dead furniture” is considered less appealing and natural than furniture that’s still alive.
Some citizens use their furniture for sexual relief. Those who partake in it are often insultingly referred to as "[[Slang and Colloquialisms#Pillow Humper|pillow humpers]]".
 
When furniture dies, or is euthanized without the corpse being used, it’s sometimes made into a food item called “couch steak”. Couch steak refers to any cut of meat taken from cushioned furniture, such as couches, ottomans, armchairs, and beds.
 
Parts that are hard and chitinous, such as legs, may be cracked open like crab legs. This is known colloquially as “couch shrimp”.
 
The testicles of furniture can be used culinarily, and in this context are called “couch potatoes”. This is generally considered to be bottom-shelf fare. 
|habitat=Furniture tends to make its home in the homes of citizens, naturally.
|reproduction=Some furniture pieces, particularly quadrupedal sorts, sport visible genitalia. Oftentimes an ottoman or sofa will be castrated before it's euthanized in an attempt to address ambulant misbehavior, such as humping.
|behavior=Ideally it will do little more than pulsate and occasionally shift around. Furniture that moves too much or exhibits other undesirable behavior is said to be “ambulant”. Ambulant furniture can either be tamed, or euthanized and stuffed.
|diet=Furniture does not generally need to be fed; ambulant furniture, however, may need feeding. Furniture that is kept within an occupied home which is cared for is thought to be sustained in the same way as the homes themselves. If furniture is removed from the building, however, or the building is abandoned or falls into disrepair then feeding becomes necessary. Note that buildings have their own preferences and may essentially "reject" a new furniture piece and necessitate it be fed separately until accepted, if it ever is.
|use=For all the various purposes furniture is usually used for, and a few more.
|gallery=
|gallery=
 
image:furniture1.jpg{{!}}An outsider sees firsthand how troublesome ambulant furniture can be¹
image:tendertuffets1.jpg{{!}}[[Rusky Pillowsnatch|Rusky]], the proprietor of [[Tender Tuffets]], shamelessly engages in pillow-humping
|featured=
|featured=
|credits=
|credits=¹ Outsider character belongs to Spelljammer/Wyrmwould
}}
}}

Latest revision as of 10:45, 1 August 2024


Furniture
Furniture
Species Reference
Species Reference
Species Arcanogram
Species Arcanogram
Average size
Varies
Average weight
Varies
Type
Abomination
Spawning Myth
When one's life becomes too routine
Notable Individuals
---

Summary

Furniture in Nodd is living, much like Noddish buildings. Furniture is found in a variety of useful shapes, from couches and ottomans to baths and countertops. Noddish furnishings are expected, given their living nature, to occasionally shuffle a small amount. However, furniture which moves on it's own too much is said to be "ambulant" and certain steps are taken to prevent this. Furnishings which have died are considered unappealing by many.

Habitat

Furniture generally spawns from and around architecture, to furnish its interior when the building reaches maturity. Stray ambulant furniture may be seen throughout the City and occasionally beyond, but less often than it's found near or within its parent building.

Reproduction

Furniture occasionally sports visible genitalia. While furniture spawns along with its building, ambulant furniture can also produce offspring in a more biological fashion.

Behavior

Well-behaved furniture is expected to remain mostly in one spot and perform the task they are intended to perform. Some minor misbehavior is to be expected, however it is not unheard of for particularly unruly furniture to misbehave drastically, such as attempting to hump it's owner. Ambulant furniture pieces are often castrated in an attempt to solve behavioral issues without resorting to euthanasia, and consistently misbehaving furniture is often disposed of.

Diet

Furniture is often nourished by the buildings they reside in, so long as the building accepts it and the building itself is maintained. Failing that, furniture must be fed by an outside source to survive - most often seen in abandoned buildings or cases where the building itself dislikes a given furniture piece. Ambulant furniture in particular is often required to be fed by the owner.

Common Uses

Furniture's most obvious use should be readily apparent. However, it is not the only use for furniture. Furnishings are also edible, made into a selection of dishes when deemed unfit for their primary use. The cushioned parts of certain furniture tends to be referred to as "couch steak", while the harder parts like legs are often called "couch shrimp" - named for the way one must crack open the chitinous exterior to get at the meat within. Less desired are "couch potatoes", which refer to the deep-fried testicles of furniture - it is widely regarded as a low quality meal.

Some citizens use their furniture for sexual relief. Those who partake in it are often insultingly referred to as "pillow humpers".

Image Gallery


¹ Outsider character belongs to Spelljammer/Wyrmwould