Furniture

Furniture Furniture
Species Reference Species Reference
Species Arcanogram Species Arcanogram
Average size	Varies
Average weight	Varies
Type
Abomination
Spawning Myth
When one's life becomes too routine
Notable Individuals
---

Summary

Furniture, too, is alive in Nodd.

Physiology

The appearance of furniture can vary as much as one would expect of furniture.

“Dead furniture” is considered less appealing and natural than furniture that’s still alive.

When furniture dies, or is euthanized without the corpse being used, it’s sometimes made into a food item called “couch steak”. Couch steak refers to any cut of meat taken from cushioned furniture, such as couches, ottomans, armchairs, and beds.

Parts that are hard and chitinous, such as legs, may be cracked open like crab legs. This is known colloquially as “couch shrimp”.

The testicles of furniture can be used culinarily, and in this context are called “couch potatoes”. This is generally considered to be bottom-shelf fare.

Habitat

Furniture tends to make its home in the homes of citizens, naturally.

Reproduction

Some furniture pieces, particularly quadrupedal sorts, sport visible genitalia. Oftentimes an ottoman or sofa will be castrated before it's euthanized in an attempt to address ambulant misbehavior, such as humping.

Behavior

Ideally it will do little more than pulsate and occasionally shift around. Furniture that moves too much or exhibits other undesirable behavior is said to be “ambulant”. Ambulant furniture can either be tamed, or euthanized and stuffed.

Diet

Furniture does not generally need to be fed; ambulant furniture, however, may need feeding. Furniture that is kept within an occupied home which is cared for is thought to be sustained in the same way as the homes themselves. If furniture is removed from the building, however, or the building is abandoned or falls into disrepair then feeding becomes necessary. Note that buildings have their own preferences and may essentially "reject" a new furniture piece and necessitate it be fed separately until accepted, if it ever is.

Common Uses

For all the various purposes furniture is usually used for, and a few more.

Image Gallery

• 
  Rusky, the proprietor of the Tender Tuffets, shamelessly engages in pillow-humping